A New Oman

Published Tuesday March 15, 2011
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Believe it or not, the peaceful sit-in that started in Salalah on February 25th is still happening. Every morning for the past three weeks, I've had to drive through throngs of sleeping protesters and placards demanding an end to corruption in order to get to my office. Meanwhile, a plethora of smaller peaceful protests have erupted at many major institutions in Salalah including the university and colleges. As for the rest of Oman, every major organization seems to be on strike, and everyday I hear of yet another sit-in happening at some ministry or other. Many of the demands seem perfectly logical to me, while others completely contradict the idea of a 'new' Oman. The protest situation may have gotten a little out of hand, but who can blame us? For the first time in decades, we've been allowed to criticize the way this country is run. Discovering that the government will tolerate our protests is unbelievable, but I suppose with recent events in the Middle East they have no other choice. Once the thrill of staging protests wears off, hopefully things will calm down… but then what?
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.Oman's 'revolution' (the only possible word that can describe the situation) is all anyone talks about these days. Everyday more Royal decrees are issued announcing jobs, benefits, and wage increases. A dozen ministers have been replaced, committees have been set up, and new policies are being formulated. His Majesty's response to the voice of the people has been remarkable. It may be hard to outsiders to understand the deep respect that Omanis have for him but rest assured that we do genuinely love our Sultan. Our loyalty is not part of any government choreography as may have been the case in other Middle Eastern nations. He has undoubtedly guided our country wisely, and the past 40 years have been extremely prosperous for Oman.

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However, it's time for reform; and by reform, I do not just mean the government. Omanis believe that His Majesty can transform this country from its present state into a democratic country, but I can't help wondering if Omanis are ready? With freedom comes responsibility. We as individuals have to start by slowly changing our lifestyle, attitude towards work, and start taking responsibility for our own lives. We've gotten used to being spoon-fed by our paternalistic government for the past four decades and this has resulted in us expecting the government to solve all our problems. Many Omanis are either too proud or too lazy to take on menial jobs. I'm against issuing a monthly allowance for the unemployed, and I'm also against forgiving all private debts and housing loans. Most Omanis are in debt over huge mansions and fancy cars that they don't even need. We have to start living at our own level of income. If we want the government to help us, we have to help ourselves first. Omanis are not the most hard-working people on earth. We've been spoiled for too long.

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Problems aside, I feel the need to echo fellow columnist Riyadh's sentiments; the greatest achievement so far has been freedom of speech. That in itself makes every protest worthwhile. In the past few weeks we've broken boundaries that many of us never knew existed. The fact that I’m able to write these very words today is incredible. For the past 18 months I have been practicing self censorship with every column that gets published. The rules are unwritten, but we all understand them. For years, media publications in this country had no credibility, and Omanis would head to internet forums for 'real' news. Quite often, websites revealing such news would be inaccessible. In recent weeks, however, Facebook groups covering the protests have not been blocked, nor have the endless discussions on local blogs and internet forums. Twitter is on fire and the hundreds of videos uploaded onto YouTube are accessible to all. This newfound freedom of expression is exhilarating.

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There's no denying the fact that we've had 40 prosperous years. The old system definitely had its virtues, but that era is over now. As a nation I think we're ready now to open new page and try something different. These have truly been significant times here in the Sultanate and the major changes aren't even over yet. This is just the tip of the iceberg. As a young Omani woman, I don't know how to react to these changes or what to think. In fact, I don't think anyone knows really. The only thing I know for sure is that Oman will never be the same again, and it sure is exciting to be here to witness it!

Protest Fever Continues in Salalah

5,000 people still occupy the area outside the Governor’s office in central Salalah on Friday afternoon (Photo: Mohammed al Shahri)

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*** Just some extra reporting I've been doing for Muscat Daily to cover the Salalah protests***

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Susan al Shahri  - 12/03/2011 10:40 am

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Two weeks after protests started in the southern province of Dhofar, the peaceful sit-in continues in front of the Governor's office in central Salalah. Yesterday's Friday prayers witnessed a gathering of about 5,000 people, down from an estimated 10,000 last week.

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Sheikh Said Jadad, a local Imam and active speaker at the protests delivered a special Friday sermon where he thanked His Majesty for listening to the voice of the people and acting upon it. Local speakers from all walks of life continue to speak to the crowds on a daily basis and donations pour in from local supporters for the provision of meals.

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Recent changes in the cabinet as well as a number of Royal Decrees have had a positive impact on the protesters. However, most of them claim they will not leave until the remaining demands have been met. The list of demands, still prominently displayed on the Governor's main gates in Salalah include an increase in wages, cancellation of personal loans, and a public corruption investigation involving former key members of the government.

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Meanwhile, smaller protests have erupted in various locations around Salalah. On Monday morning, a group of women started protesting in front of the Women's Association's Salalah headquarters with various demands ranging from an end to government corruption to the removal of the association's management.

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At Dhofar University, several hundred students went on strike on Tuesday. Their demands included lower tuition fees, more student benefits and becoming a government-owned university. The Vice Chancellor of the University met with the students several times to discuss the way forward.

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A public relations employee at the university confirmed that all public events, including a visit by the Japanese Ambassador to Oman were postponed in order to avoid clashes with the protesting students.

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Classes were disrupted by student protests that started at Salalah College of Technology on March 1 and continued until March 9. Students asked for changes in the academic programmes, a new dean, better grading systems, and various other demands.

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A team from the Ministry of Manpower met with the students on Monday to discuss the situation and to announce the hiring of a new dean at the college. An Omani lecturer at the college said she supported the students' demands but wished classes hadn't come to a complete halt. Classes will officially resume today.

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Meanwhile, next door at Salalah College of Applied Sciences, students also went on strike last Monday. Their long list of demands included changes in the administration, better facilities and benefits for students, an easier curriculum, and the need for summer classes to be offered in Salalah.

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According to Talal, a sophomore at the college and one of the protesters, students plan to continue their protests until they receive an official reply from the Ministry of Higher Education. Unlike Salalah College of Technology, classes here weren't fully disrupted.

Salalah Protests Gear Up for the Long Haul

 Just some extra reporting I've been doing for Muscat Daily to cover the Salalah protests.

Susan al Shahri

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07/03/2011 10:27 am

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Ten days after a few hundred protesters marched to the gates of the Governor's headquarters in Salalah, the peaceful sit-in is still going strong. Since the huge crowds at the Friday prayers, the number has averaged around 3,000 during the day and more than double that at night.

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The ten large outdoor tents that were set up to accommodate the overwhelming numbers for Friday prayers are still standing. Temporary restaurants and water facilities have been set up to cater to the needs of the protesters, and donations keep pouring in to provide meals.

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On Sunday morning, a delegation of very senior officials from the government set off on foot from the Governor's office to the tents in an attempt to meet the crowds, but was told to leave rather harshly by some protesters who overreacted to their sudden visit.

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Mohammed Mustahil, an active speaker at the protests, expressed his unhappiness with the incident, saying that he believed an open dialogue with government officials would have resulted in a positive outcome. He also said that many of the other protesters shared his sentiments.

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Ahmed, one of the protesters who expressed his disapproval at the delegation's sudden appearance, said that the protesters were not ready to negotiate until all their demands are met. The large banner listing their demands remains prominently displayed on the main gate of the Governor's office in Dhofar.

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Groups of protesters from the towns of Taqah, Mirbat and Sadah have also joined the sit-in in Salalah. What started off as a small protest organised by the unemployed and underpaid has become a gathering of thousands from all walks of life. Doctors, writers, religious leaders, lawyers, students, unemployed young men, and even Majlis Al Shura candidates have joined the protesters.

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People with positive inputs are encouraged to come and speak to the crowds. In order to facilitate this, a stage has been set up and loudspeakers have been installed around the square. Most of these speeches are recorded and immediately uploaded onto Facebook, YouTube, and many local forums.

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During the evenings it has become nearly impossible to find any parking near the square. Despite the overwhelming number of supporters, the sit-in remains extremely peaceful.

Protests in Salalah - Friday Gathering Draws Thousands in Salalah

This morning my report on the protests in Dhofar actually made it to the front page of the newspaper. I'm flattered.

05/03/2011 10:20 am 

Susan al Shahri

A week after the peaceful sit-in started in Salalah, the crowds continue to grow by the hour. Thousands flocked to the protesters' headquarters across the Governor of Dhofar's office, now nicknamed 'Freedom Square', for Friday prayers.

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The purpose of Friday's gathering was to remind the government that the peaceful sit-in would continue until their demands were met. Banners seeking an end to corruption were set up at the entrance to the square. While various decisions have been taken with regard to provision of jobs for 50,000 Omanis, a grant of RO150 for the unemployed as well as changes in the cabinet, the protesters are still not satisfied.

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A writer and recent speaker at the protest in Salalah estimated that there were around 10,000 people present for the Friday prayers. One of the protesters, Ali, who contributed to the setting up of ten tents at the square, claimed that each could accommodate up to 900 people. Not only were all the ten tents filled, there were also hundreds of people praying out in the sun and under the trees in the square.

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A special Friday sermon was delivered by the Imam of a local mosque, Nasser Bait Ali Sakroon, who encouraged the people gathered to be brave, patient, peaceful and to say ‘Enough’ to corruption. A local blogger who goes by the name, Mahfaif, set up his camera equipment on the roof of a building overlooking the square and managed to get some shots of the square before the sermon.

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He estimated that there were between 5,000-7,000 people at the time that he joined the Friday prayers. Several sources confirmed that lunch for the thousands who showed up at the square on Friday was provided by one of Dhofar's wealthy businessmen.

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Meanwhile thousands of others continue to send donations to help with the provision of meals for the protesters. There was no army presence in the area, while police presence was limited to a few who sat in their vehicles near the square.

Protests in Salalah: What do we want?

Published Monday February 28th, 2011
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On most days my office windows look out onto beautiful mountains, palm trees, pretty government buildings, and quiet Salalah traffic. This week, however, the view is a little more interesting. It includes protesters, banners, tents and police vehicles.

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 A few weeks ago I would have laughed off the mere thought of an uprising in Oman, let alone the peaceful town where I live. Nonetheless, on Friday hundreds of protesters marched from the Grand Mosque in Salalah to the central area of town where most government offices are.

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Banners with clear demands were plastered to the gates of the Minister of State's headquarters and the protesters set up camp for the night opposite the gates. It has been four days already and from what I can see it doesn't look like they're going anywhere soon. Not only have they increased in numbers, but they've actually set up one of the most organized protest camps I have ever seen. The quiet collection of donations and the distribution system for food and water is something to be admired. When I drove by last night, the protesters were sitting in groups, talking quietly.

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So what is it that they want? Well, some of the demands seem perfectly realistic and feasible to me, whereas others may seem a little ambitious for the time being (canceling all personal and housing loans?). First and foremost, protesters are demanding an end to administrative and financial corruption in the government and private sector. Believe it or not, Omanis finally want to crack down on wasta (influence). I never thought I'd see the day.

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 Other major demands include the need for more jobs, higher wages, and lower prices for basic commodities such as water and electricity. Do I blame them? No. I live a comfortable life but all around me I see people who live from paycheque to paycheque. Most people I know are in debt, and by the end of the month many of them don't have money to even buy petrol or groceries. Countless young people I know with university degrees are unable to find employment anywhere. Other demands include better healthcare and a complete revamp of the public schooling system. The list has been posted on every local internet forum and is being sent around in the form of emails and SMS.

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Before getting all excited about the protest drama, I find it's extremely important to make a clear distinction between the situation in Oman and recent events that have taken the Middle East by storm. We cannot in any way compare ourselves to the people of Tunisia, Egypt and Libya. It's completely irrelevant. Omanis have much to be thankful for. We live in peaceful country which has come a long way since His Majesty took over 40 years ago and we are truly blessed. With these current protests, Omanis are simply demanding changes to a few government policies.

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 The exaggeration I've seen in the international media regarding the protests in Oman is uncalled for. Simply put, Omanis are peaceful people who have recently discovered that protests actually work. Does that mean our protesters should become violent? No. Should we drop everything and go out into the streets? Absolutely not!

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I'm a young Omani woman with very little experience in politics or anything of the sort, but I do know one thing; if we establish clear goals and collectively work towards them, they can be achieved. I'm hoping Oman can become a shining example of how protests should end up; in a win-win situation. We can't demand an end to government corruption unless we as individuals stop depending on wasta ourselves on a much smaller scale. We cannot demand more jobs unless we prove that we are willing to really go out and work. There are definitely jobs out there but in many cases Omanis are too proud to go out and become shopkeepers or join other occupations which they consider to be beneath them. The age of comfortable office jobs for everyone is over.

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Oman is not a huge country with an overwhelming population. With less than two million citizens, it's definitely possible to work together in order to make positive changes. If we have the right attitude, change can happen. It'll be interesting to see how the situation unfolds, but deep inside me I hope Omanis realize that by being proactive, lots can be achieved. Fingers crossed.

Young People & Depression

Published February 15, 2011

The first time I ever thought of depression as a medical condition was nearly a decade ago when one of my high school classmates here in Salalah suddenly stopped attending classes halfway through the semester. She’d always been a loner and didn’t participate much in class so it took a few days before anyone realized she was gone. Two weeks later, she still hadn't showed up. Slowly rumors began to spread about her sudden disappearance and despite her family's desperate attempts at concealing the truth, we found out she had tried to end her life by swallowing bleach. She had been suffering from severe clinical depression and heaven knows what else, but her family refused to acknowledge it. Instead, they took her to local witchdoctors whose diagnosis was simply demonic possession. After undergoing a couple of exorcisms she decided she couldn't cope with life anymore and wanted to take the easy way out. She was seventeen at the time.

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Sadly, situations like this one are not uncommon here in Dhofar. I can think of at least ten young people I know who have suffered from severe depression but weren't brave enough to tell their families or go to a doctor for fear of being talked about and criticized. In our conservative society, people with depression or any form of mental illness are looked down upon, and if they do speak up they are immediately taken to a witchdoctor or religious sheikh. I agree that keeping your faith strong works in many cases for adults, but isn't shoving a prayer book into the hands of a depressed teenager who is struggling with suicidal thoughts a little harsh?

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There's no point denying the fact that depression is an illness that is definitely on the rise among young people and adults in Oman and all over the world, but the good news is that medical treatment is available. Believe it or not, there are some really excellent psychologists in our government and private hospitals and clinics who can help patients suffering from clinical depression. According to SQU Hospital in Muscat, over two thousand women were diagnosed with depression in 2010. The fact that they sought medical help at all is a huge step in the right direction. I can only wish the same were true for Salalah. We have a long way to go before people here open up about mental illnesses. Sure, it's discussed in secret and anonymously in local internet forums, but we need to publicly shed light on the situation. Our kids need to be educated about their mental wellbeing. They need to know when to ask for help. Most young people are reluctant to seek help and don't realize that proper treatment (i.e. not branding or exorcisms) can alleviate the symptoms in most cases. Yet because it often goes unrecognized, depression continues to cause unnecessary suffering.

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Several decades ago life in Oman was much simpler than it is now and depression wasn't much of an issue, but nowadays life can be too whelming for many young people. Some of us are able to cope but others simply can't. We all have our low days every now and then, but when one or two days become several months, it's time to seek help. The frightening thing is that many young victims in Oman feel they have nowhere to go for help. Most parents aren't able to recognize the symptoms, let alone school counselors and teachers.

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I am in no way an expert on anything related to mental health but I have witnessed enough cases in this town where severe depression has been mistaken for demonic possession and hushed to protect the family's reputation. We need more mental health professionals in rural areas outside the capital and we need to shed more light on the secrecy surrounding mental illness in Omani culture. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

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On a final note… since one of the strengths of society here is the fact that we're so intricately connected, surely we can use that to our advantage by providing collective support to people who suffer from mental illnesses? When someone dies, we rush to support the family and when someone is in need, we do the same. Surely if someone is suffering from depression, we could provide support as well?

Why The Black Abaya?

Published February 8, 2011
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Have you ever wondered why women in Oman and in the GCC wear the black abaya? I certainly have. We started off pretty well. Take a look at photos from Oman in the 1960s and 1970s. Women wore modest, traditional and colorful clothing. I’m not quite sure when the black crept its way into Oman, but many people blame Iran and Saudi. Today, the concept of the black abaya has become so engrained in our society that we can’t imagine our lives without it. Most girls in are told by their families to start wearing it when they turn thirteen or fourteen and are stuck with it for life. Once you start, there’s no going back. 

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I started wearing an abaya in grade eight because all the girls in my class wore it, and I didn’t want to stand out. Now, ten years later I can’t even drive to my sister’s house down the street without putting it on. Why? Because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t wear it. I feel as if I’d be committing a crime against society by not wearing it. In fact, I’m pretty sure society here in Salalah would also feel I’m doing something wrong, and someone would surely feel the need to report my scandalous behavior to someone from my tribe!   

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 I asked my male colleagues (regular victims of my random feminist outbursts) why they think women should wear the black abaya.  Most said girls must start wearing the abaya when they reach puberty to protect their 'reputation'. I asked them to explain what they meant by that but they just went around in circles repeating the argument about reputation. A couple of others believe society looks down upon girls who don’t wear it. My favorite answer was from a guy who said men wouldn't be able to concentrate at work if their female colleagues wore colors. Really?! 

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Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not against the abaya at all. In fact, I love wearing it. It’s practical and comfortable and I can wear whatever I want underneath it. Furthermore, it’s extremely fashionable. Black happens to be very elegant especially when studded with jewelry or adorned with silver or gold linings and other designs. The cost of abayas can range from twenty to two or three hundred rials depending on the detailed hand embroidery, designer brand, and crystals. Wearing the abaya is also an easier way to cover up without having to worry about coordinating an entire outfit. On the other hand, it gets dirty easily, gets stuck in the wheels of my office chair at least twice a day, and is a constant tripping hazard. Furthermore, during the summer the abaya becomes your own personal heating pad. Black absorbs heat like a sponge absorbs liquid.

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 So, why do we wear it? Because we’ve gotten used to it and are afraid of what people will say if we don’t? Why the obsession with conformity? Society in Oman has always had a problem with anyone different, more so here in Dhofar where it’s almost taboo to stand out of the crowd, especially for females. As a young woman who practically worships individuality, I find this very hard at times. I'm sure many young women out there share my sentiments. 

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 From a religious point of view, wearing black isn’t strictly required by Islam. Muslim women should wear loose fitting and modest clothing that covers the body. Can that not be achieved with green or purple? I knew a woman here in Salalah who made beautiful colored abayas and tried to market them to the local women a few years ago but most claimed their husbands would never let them. The word ‘let’ is what gets on my nerves. Abayas are beautiful, but every woman should have the right to choose whether she wants to wear it or not.  What concerns me is that girls all over Oman are being forced to wear black from a young age by their families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little color. In Muscat, things have changed and it’s not uncommon to see women in color but as for the rest of us, black rules. I don’t predict any changes in the near future in Dhofar because we haven’t even started tackling the issue of the black face veil, let alone the abaya!  Goodness knows how long it’ll be before women here can start choosing what they want to wear. Food for thought…

The Funeral Debate

Published January 25, 2011
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There's no denying the fact that in Dhofar everyone knows everything about everyone else. When something interesting happens, word spreads immediately and it becomes the talk of the town. This can be horrible at times and quite useful at others. By useful, I mean funerals. When someone dies, within an hour every relative, friend and acquaintance is informed and people start flocking to the funeral. Unlike other countries, funerals in Oman happen very quickly. The body of the deceased is washed, wrapped in a shroud immediately, and kissed goodbye by the closest family members. It is then taken by the men of the family to the graveyard where the burial takes place on the same day in the Islamic way followed by special funeral prayers at the mosque performed by all the male mourners. Meanwhile, the females hastily prepare the house for the funeral. Personal belongings are shoved into closets, bedding is rolled up, and the kitchen is stocked with drinks, fruit, and tea. Prayer beads, chapters of the Qur'an and boxes of Kleenex are placed at every corner, and the neighbors and close relatives send their housemaids over to help with the preparation.

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While the men are at the graveyard burying the deceased, a huge tent is being installed outside the house to accommodate them upon their return. Tent companies can set up a huge funeral tent outside your home at a moment's notice. Within an hour or two, hundreds of men will have flocked to the tent to pay their respects. Meanwhile, the house will be bursting at the seams with female mourners. Close relatives spend all day at the funeral whereas distant relatives and acquaintances come to pay their respects and leave within an hour to make room for more mourners. Some women take shifts in the kitchen preparing refreshments and meals while others walk around the house with trays of coffee, tea, and drinks offering them to guests. In the house, the women usually talk quietly, cry, or read the Qur'an and pray. Some of the older women wail like banshees despite the fact that funeral wailing is un-Islamic and quite frightening. For immediate family members, the hours go by in a blur of greetings, condolences, noise, and chaos. This goes on for three long days from early morning to late at night. Everyone is expected to come and pay their respects during those three days and by the end of it all life supposedly goes back to normal.

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I have mixed feelings about the whole funeral system in Oman and particularly in Dhofar, and I'm sure many of you Omanis out there share my sentiments. First of all, funerals are extremely costly. Not only do you have to serve refreshments to hundreds of people but in Dhofar usually several animals are slaughtered to feed the guests at meals. Providing lunch and dinner to that many people is no joke. Who can afford that kind of expense these days?

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Furthermore, after losing a loved one, the thought of facing hundreds of people within a few hours is emotionally and physically draining. Because men and women mourn separately, when can immediate family members comfort one another? Recently I was at a funeral where a couple had lost their child. The mother was receiving guests all day while her husband was outside in the tent doing the same. They did not see each other until midnight when everyone had left. Despite the fact that she remained strong and greeted people with a smile, I could tell all she wanted was to be alone with her husband to mourn the loss of their child. It was written all over her face. In my opinion, I don't think anyone should have to go through that.

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On the other hand, the support provided by the local community is amazing. Having hundreds of people come to let you know you’re not alone in your suffering and knowing they're all praying for you and your loved ones is extremely touching. I also feel that the transitional three day mourning period is a good form of closure for the family. Recently and to the horror of the old fashioned elders in Dhofar, some families have announced they're holding shorter funerals that last only a day or two. Other families have made it clear that no meals will be provided. I don't know how they would implement that rule, but I think it's extremely sensible. How else can we improve the funeral system in Oman? Any ideas?

Holiday Woes

Published January 4, 2011
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On New Year’s Day 2011 a beautiful little country on the Indian Ocean woke up from a very long and blissful snooze that started on the first day of Ramadhan. I may be exaggerating a little, but it seems to me like we've had nothing but holidays and celebrations since August!
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During Ramadhan it was almost impossible to get any work done due to shorter working hours and non-responsive fasting employees. Then it was Eid Al Fitr for a week. Next came the heavy preparations for Oman's 40th National Day celebrations in every village and city in Oman. That meant most children in the public schooling system were out of school by 11 a.m everyday. Many adults participating in the celebratory events were also given time off work. We were then hit with more holidays for Eid Al Adha followed by a long series of National Day celebrations. Should I continue or is this becoming overwhelming? The holidays for the new Islamic year at the beginning of December were extra-long and after going back to work for a little over a week we were granted a beautifully long (and belated) National Day break at the end of December.
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The bottom line is that we were spoiled rotten by the number of public holidays in 2010. As wonderful as it may seem, it has been absolute chaos for anyone trying to get any work done during the last quarter of the year. If we were given actual 'dates' for the holidays in advance, we may have been able to plan around them, but given Oman's tendency to announce holidays at the very last moment, it's a wonder entire sectors haven't collapsed! I speak for project managers, newspaper editors, event managers, travel agents, conference organizers, surgeons, people working in academia, etc. My line of work requires planning events year round, bringing in consultants from abroad, and overseeing bookings. At the end of November rumors began circulating about the two sets of December holidays. I had several events planned at work for the month of December, and I also had several consultants flying in from places like the US and England. After many sleepless nights, frantic phone calls, and desperate attempts at picking up clues through the magic Omani grapevine, I gave up and postponed most of the events until after mid-January when I knew it would be safe. The stress of last-minute cancellations just wasn't worth it.
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Last week's nine day holiday was definitely a treat but is the privilege of, heaven-forbid, actually planning a vacation too much to ask for? If I had known about it in advance, I could have – for example - applied for an Italian tourist visa and flown to Milan for a week. The recent Oman Air ads were definitely tempting. Instead, I stayed home and read. Many expatriates I know in Salalah could have flown home to see their families but again didn't have enough time for last-minute bookings. Not everyone can hop into their Toyota land cruiser and drive to their family in the next village for a holiday, you know?
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I'm not criticizing the way things are run here in Oman, but I do enjoy a good rant every once in a while as you may have noticed. Despite the fact that the public holiday system in Oman drives me crazy sometimes, I still think it's charming and the anticipation can be fun. Furthermore, along with everybody else I'm forced to remain on my tiptoes and keep up my problem solving skills!
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Anyway, the good news is that real work may actually get done now that holiday season is over. Oh, and the bad news? No more holidays until September!

Abayas Behind The Wheel

Published December 21, 2010
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I had an insane conversation recently with a male colleague of mine who claimed all traffic problems in Dhofar are caused by women. He insisted that Salalah's traffic jams would wane if women stayed at home and played housewife. He also swore that most men in Oman shared his point of view.
 

I thought it was pretty amusing but later on that day I decided to Google women and driving in Oman out of curiosity to see what would come up in the search. Lo and behold, in the Arabic results I ended up with several links to online forums where men were debating endlessly the issue of women and driving. Frankly, I didn't know we were an issue in the first place!
 

The arguments in these online forums were hilarious. Some claimed women weren't strong enough to handle the steering wheel while others believe women were hogging all the road space in Oman or that we were the main cause of all road accidents in this country. One of my favorites was an argument that women shouldn't drive because in the unlikely event of a flat tire it would lead to – God forbid – unsupervised contact with the unrelated males who would come to the rescue. The more conservative chaps believed that giving women the freedom to drive without supervision would lead to a life of moral corruption. And finally, the open minded ones thought women should be 'allowed' to drive if they had a valid reason to do so.
 

After the hilarity of the responses had worn off, I began to feel slightly offended. Tolerance soon turned to outrage. Why on earth were all these Omani men discussing whether women should be 'allowed' to drive? I thought we'd moved on from the dark ages. Oman prides itself in trying to maintain a healthy balance between tradition, religion and modernity. I think we're doing pretty well too!
 

Thanks to our supportive government and the wise leadership of His Majesty, women in Oman have been able to expand their working horizons and improve their professional lives without a huge struggle, unlike countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran where being a woman isn't easy Women in Oman can work, study, own property, vote, start their own businesses and join almost every professional field out there, so why the whining about driving?
 

Back in the late 1970s to early 1980s rumor had it that there was one female rebel in the mountains of Dhofar who drove an ancient pickup truck. Locals still speak of her with awe. Here we are today, almost thirty years later and it seems to me that every tenth car in Salalah is driven by a woman. We've come a long way, and as positive as it may seem, it saddens me to know that almost all those women behind wheels struggled to gain approval from their families. Everyday women around Oman petition to their fathers, husbands, and brothers asking to be allowed to drive. I think its amazing how some men still think they can make decisions like that for the women in their lives. Driving is a basic skill that every man and woman should acquire, especially in a country like Oman where there is no proper public transportation system. There should be no question about it. And anyway, what's the harm in having a little freedom to drive yourself to work and run your own errands?
 

In this country we have female ministers, female ambassadors, doctors, engineers, and even female taxi drivers (you heard me right!), so why are all you men out there so uptight about seeing us behind wheels? It's time to let go of the notion that women need to be protected and sheltered from the world. We are much stronger and more capable than you think. Have a little faith in us. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the number of female drivers in Oman is going to double if not triple in the next few years. We're on the road and here to stay!

PS (I've disappeared for a while because - lucky for me - while I was on leave, every date set for my articles happened to be a public holiday, and Muscat Daily isn't printed during holidays)

Remembering Abdullah

Published November 02, 2010
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Over twelve years ago Salalah witnessed a horrible car accident involving a group of teenage boys driving at an insane speed without seatbelts. Abdullah, one of the accident's survivors, ended up spending six months on a wooden board at the hospital in a failed attempt to heal his crushed spine. When he was finally released in a wheelchair, he knew he would never walk again. After many months of depressed isolation, he rallied, and finished his high school diploma at home. Then he decided he was going to university. He was discouraged by almost everyone, but he chose to fight and went up to Muscat to apply for a scholarship. A senior official at the Ministry told him to give up, claiming someone paralyzed from the neck down would never make it through college. Never one to give up, he kept fighting.
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He was finally granted a scholarship to study at Dhofar University. I remember the first day his personal helper, Babu, wheeled him through the campus gates, and most students stopped to stare like it was some sort of freak show. Abdullah held his head up high and started attending classes. During those first few weeks, most students avoided Abdullah because, at the time, Dhofaris had no idea how to deal with physically or mentally challenged people. Any person with special needs was kept 'hidden' at home and away from society. The first time I met Abdullah was during registration week at the University. Babu pushed his wheelchair up to a bench where I was sitting and he asked me cheerfully if he could be 'parked' next to me until Babu returned with registration forms. We ended up chatting for an hour, and that was the beginning of several years of friendship.
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University life was not easy for Abdullah. It took a while for students to get used to seeing him around campus, but after the first few weeks, his classmates started talking to him and once they realized he was a completely normal person, his circle of friends began to grow. He decided to study management information systems since he was able to use a laptop despite the fact that his fingers had been crushed in the accident. He had a pencil with a small rubber attached to one end. He would hook the pencil into his only good finger and use the piece of rubber to hit the keyboard.
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Abdullah was extremely bright and spent many hours a week tutoring other students. He also became involved in social work and charity campaigns at the University, many of which he himself had initiated! He excelled in his studies and made the Honors List semester after semester even though he had to spend weeks at a time in the hospital every year.
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He had a charming personality and a wicked sense of humor. His close friends at the University knew how much physical pain he was in even though he rarely showed it. Only he knew what it was like to wake up in the morning and feel completely helpless and paralyzed. To overcome his frustration, he spent his time and energy reaching out to others. When someone passed away, Abdullah was the first at the funeral. When someone was in trouble, he was the first to offer help. Even when my own mother was undergoing surgery in Muscat (at the other end of the country!), he somehow managed to appear out of the blue in the surgical ward with a bouquet of flowers on his wheelchair table and a smile on his face. On our graduation night in 2007, when he was wheeled out on stage to receive his degree, the applause was deafening and every single person in that auditorium was on their feet (many with tears streaming down their faces).
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Abdullah passed away two years ago today, and even though he is no longer with us, his friends I have vowed to keep his memory alive. He had no idea how much he inspired people, and we all feel blessed to have had someone like him in our lives. He told me once that his dream was to set up a rehabilitation centre in Salalah for people like him. He wanted young men and women with special abilities and needs to have a choice. He took it upon himself to make a difference. After graduation, he spent most of his time trying to make his dream come true.
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Despite Abdullah's and many other people's efforts, there are still thousands of children and adults with special needs hidden behind locked doors in Dhofar.

New Campus, New Dreams

Published October 19, 2010

It's finally happening! After six years of planning and building, the new Dhofar University campus in Salalah is ready at last. In fact, I heard through the infamous Salalah grapevine that the Vice Chancellor himself moved in over the weekend. This small piece of news may not seem too exciting to readers in other parts of Oman. However, I guarantee that anyone who has been involved in the growth of the university from the early days is openly proud, if not thrilled. I'm dying to go and visit the new campus once it's been brought to life by its two thousand or more students over the course of the next few weeks!

Back in the summer of 2004, I was a fresh high school graduate trying to make a decision on where to further my education. I wasn't too keen on leaving home just yet, and while reluctantly considering a few colleges in Muscat, a friend called me up and told me to buy the newspaper. Lo and behold, a small article on page two announced that the American University of Beirut had signed an agreement to academically oversee the establishment of what is now Dhofar University. We both applied the next day, and that was the beginning of four very active years at DU.

When I first joined, the university consisted of basically three rented villas and a banana plantation on the outskirts of town. Despite the fact that females and males studied in the same classrooms, the environment remained almost entirely gender segregated. During their free time, female students hid in the library or the prayer room, and during lectures they sat at the back of the classroom in silence. Neither male nor female students were enrolled in any extracurricular activities and they didn't bother participating in anything that wasn't directly related to their course material. By 4 p.m. every day, the campus was a dead zone. Most students didn't know what to make of university life!

Coming from a conservative society, the first year was a struggle for me and anyone who was trying to push the existing boundaries to build something new. At the time, I was one of the five females only who did not wear the face veil, and I was criticized constantly for it. I was the only female in my year who dared to enroll in business, a male dominated major at the time. I joined several extracurricular activities with a group of liberal and active friends despite protests from other females on campus, and in some cases, families claiming it was taboo.

Slowly, things began to improve and it was exciting being a part of it. I can't remember exactly when the changes became noticeable, but I know for sure that the law banning face veils on campus (thank you, Ministry of Higher Education!) played a huge role in empowering the females and altering the general feel of the university altogether! Anyone who has been there from the very beginning knows very well just how far the university has come. Nowadays students take their university years more seriously. The level of proficiency in English among students is much higher than it was five years ago. A large percentage of students are enrolled in at least one extracurricular activity and are keen on attending additional workshops and seminars. Males and females work on group projects together and if you drive by the campus at night these days, you might spot the lights on in one or two of the buildings, while the interior architects work on their projects, the graphic designers slave over their movie clips, or a handful of aspiring engineers test their latest robotic creations out in the courtyard. (I've seen everything from robot spiders to potato cannons!)

The University has some way to go before becoming a fully accredited and internationally recognized university, but I believe it's on the right path. Despite constant criticism over the years from locals claiming the tuition fees are too high, students claiming it's too difficult, and faculty claiming students aren't serious enough, I know DU has brought many positive changes to Dhofar (and to many of our students from the north of Oman too), and it will continue to do so.

With this new campus and the much larger facilities I look forward to seeing DU move on from the 'starting up phase' to playing a larger role in the community. I hope it starts hosting community programs, talks, exhibitions, conferences, campaigns, etc. on a regular basis. I also look forward to seeing the Salalah community actively support the University. It has to be a 'give and take' relationship. What DU needs right now is positive people who really want to make a difference and who believe in the students. With the right attitude from students, faculty, administration and the local community, anything is possible, and we're on the way

Beggars in Dhofar

Published October 5, 2010

A couple of days ago I was driving around Salalah looking for a functioning bank deposit machine, so I could put a small amount of money into a relative's account. At the first stop, I got out of my car and stood in line waiting for my turn. It was busier than usual since it was payday for most people. As I waited, I noticed a woman standing next to the machine. At first I thought she was waiting for a brother or her husband, but as the line grew shorter, she still hadn't moved. She was a begging, and to my surprise, I noticed she was wearing three gold bracelets. (This is not a smart move when you're trying to convince people you need money!)
 

When the gentleman in front of me reached the front of the line she watched him swipe his ATM card at the machine. She snatched the opportunity and said, 'Uncle, can you spare some change?' I noticed she did not have an Omani accent. As he fumbled for his wallet, he tried withdrawing the card simultaneously, but it go stuck in the machine. He hit the machine hard a couple of times, and then left in frustration since it was no longer working, shoving a couple of rial notes into her hand as he strode away. I gave her some change and headed back to my car.

That wasn't the end of it. Ten minutes later I managed to find another deposit machine. I parked my car, delighted to be the only person in sight. As I proceeded to take my wallet out of my purse I felt something tug at my abaya. Lo and behold, it was a little boy, probably six or seven years of age. He was well dressed and wearing what looked like brand new shoes. 'Give me a rial!' he demanded. I asked him where he lived. He ignored my question and again said 'Give me a rial!' I gave him half a rial and walked away, deciding to go and search for yet another bank machine to do my banking in peace. He followed me to the car, 'I saw you have money in your wallet! Give me five rials!' I rolled up the window and turned the car on.

As I drove away he picked up a small rock and threw it at me, missing my car by a few inches. I headed to the third and final deposit machine I know in my area of town, and as I looked for a parking space, I noticed a woman sitting on the ground next to the ATM. She had a piece of cloth spread out neatly in front of her with some small change scattered on it…yet another beggar. I honestly couldn't face another one at that point, and drove away without stopping.
 

Sadly, this trend isn't anything new to me. Just last week a woman wearing an expensive abaya strolled into my office at work and demanded money. When my colleague gave her a rial she became agitated and demanded more. We had to call the guards to come and ask her to leave the building. How she got past them in the first place beats me!
 

I first noticed an increase in the number of beggars around Salalah about a year ago. The original and more genuine toothless beggars (whom everyone in town knew) used to beg near supermarkets. They were grateful for whatever was given to them, be it five rials, or five hundred baisa. However, this new category of aggressive beggars who corner you wherever they feel like it is certainly a cause for alarm. They are almost always well dressed and sporting expensive phones, watches, etc. It's not surprising, since begging seems to be a thriving business in Oman! During Ramadhan this year I must have come across over fifty beggars!
 

As far as I'm concerned, I've just about had it with the women wearing gold and aggressive children who claim they are desperately in need. Since Omanis are known for their generosity and since begging is a relatively new trend in Oman, quite often it's hard to distinguish between genuine beggars and fakes. I recently read that the Ministry of Social Development is going to implement a new law to crack down on begging. I hope this happens soon, before the situation in Salalah gets out of control. Otherwise, this aggressive begging is going to develop into something even worse like violence and robbery!

Eid Al Fitr in Salalah

Published September 21, 2010

To be honest, I find it hard to believe that Ramadhan is over. Once you get into the routine of quiet fasting, the shock of the Eid is quite hard to handle. Despite the fact that we did not eat or drink anything from sunrise to sunset for an entire month, I have to admit that fasting was much easier this year in Dhofar due to the cool weather and monsoon rains. In fact, many people claim it has been the easiest Ramadhan in over three decades!

For most of us, last week was a blur of fasting, cleaning, shopping, baking, and preparing for the Eid. During the few days before the Eid, shops were open until the wee hours of the morning to accommodate the needs of the thousands of last minute frantic shoppers. On Thursday evening, everyone ate their Iftar with eyes glued to Oman TV waiting for the big announcement about whether or not we were fasting one more day, or celebrating the Eid the next morning. An hour after sunset the crescent moon had been sighted, marking the end of the Holy Month of Ramadhan and the beginning of Eid. I'm sad that Ramadhan is over but at the same time happy that I can eat and drink again at regular times! My morning cups of freshly brewed coffee at work were sorely missed!

The morning of Eid al Fitr is always awkward. We have all readjusted our bodily clocks, and have made new habits. Many may find they are wide awake at four thirty in the morning thinking they must get up and eat the pre-dawn meal (also known as Suhoor). After a couple of hours more of sleep, everyone wakes up and heads guiltily to the kitchen to eat their first breakfast in a month. Eating in broad daylight can take some getting used to, that's for sure! As the men head to the mosque for early morning Eid prayers, the women hurriedly prepare the majlis for guests. Each house has a spread of sweets, fruit, drinks, Omani coffee, and halwa, a traditional Omani sweet. By nine o'clock in the morning, children have already started visiting every house in their neighborhood dressed in their new clothes, and soon their pockets are bulging with candy and Eidia (small change given out to children during the Eid). By the end of the morning, they're all on a sugar high (adults included) and head home to rest before their second round of visits in the afternoon.

The next few days are dedicated solely to visiting family and relatives. In Salalah, women usually stay at home and receive children and male relatives on the first day of the Eid and do most of their visiting on the second or third day, or even after that. Over the past 72 hours I'm pretty sure I received and visited at least one hundred relatives. Each conversation blended into the next so I am finding it hard to remember everyone's news. It can be quite overwhelming, and it doesn't help knowing I have yet another four days of visiting to do before heading back to work on Saturday! In Salalah, visiting isn't confined to the first three or four days of the Eid like most of the rest of Oman. It can go on for well over a week. I suppose this might be related to the fact that families in the south of Oman are larger than in other areas of the Sultanate.

The Eid in Salalah feels special this year due to the unusually prolonged monsoon rains, the beautiful green mountains just beginning to appear out of the mist, and the presence of tourists from the GCC and other parts of Oman who have come to Salalah just for the Eid holiday. The presence of His Majesty Sultan Qaboos in Dhofar for Ramadhan and Eid this year made it even more special. Everyone was cheerful just by knowing His Majesty is in town and that he performed Eid al Fitr prayers at Al Hisn Mosque on the ocean.

At the same time, however, the Eid marks the end of the three month 'slump' that Oman gets into with the summer holidays, Ramadhan, and in Salalah's case, the monsoon. On Saturday, Oman can wake up from its very long nap and hopefully begin to get some real work done. Children and college students head back to school, work timings go back to normal and everything becomes a blur of activity again. It's about time! But..... we are already looking forward to next Ramadhan.

Iftar on the Peace Boat

Published August 31, 2010

Last week one of my friends called me up at work and shouted excitedly into the receiver 'Do you want to have Iftar on a Japanese ship at Salalah Port?' Not one to turn down such an interesting opportunity, I immediately agreed without asking for any more details. As it turned out, I had been invited as part of a group of young Omanis from Salalah who would be meeting a delegation of Japanese intellectuals on the internationally renowned 'Peace Boat', a cruise ship known for its round-the-world voyages to support global peace and human rights. As a tribute to the Sultanate's reputation as a peaceful nation, Salalah is the only port where the ship made a stop in the Arabian Gulf. It left Japan during early August and will be visiting ports in Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Europe and Latin America before its return to Japan in October.

On Friday, August 20th, the selected group of Omani representatives (mostly Dhofar University students) congregated at the University, nervously awaiting the arrival of our Japanese guests, and hungry after many hours of fasting. We had several hours to go before breaking the fast at sunset and we stood around worrying that we wouldn't be fully 'compos mentis' during the exchange! Just then, a huge bus pulled up in front of the University gates.

The first thing I noticed is how neatly the Japanese descended from the bus, one by one, each nattily dressed, and each one with a backpack and camera in hand. Many of them were already sporting Omani turbans, caps, and dishdashas, even though they had only been in the port for a short time. They bowed in greeting. Unsure of how to respond we bowed too; then everyone burst out laughing. And that was the beginning of a very intense cultural exchange between Oman and Japan! During the next few hours (and despite the language barriers), we were privileged to meet Hiroshima survivors, listen to them tell us about what had happened on that fateful day and feel the effect of their tragic tales. They then patiently taught us how to make 'origami', or beautiful paper cutouts, and how to wear kimonos (traditional Japanese dress), and we observed Japanese dances and rituals.

It was absolutely fascinating. In exchange, we explained in detail about what Ramadhan means to us, and told them about Omani dress, our culture, Islam, our food, etc. The Omani males in our group taught them some traditional dances and we burnt frankincense for them and taught them some simple Arabic words (while we were all learning as much Japanese as we could at the same time!).
 

After the planned activities, including a tour of the new Dhofar University campus, we all piled into buses and headed for the famous Peace Boat, where we were taken on a tour and shown how it all works. To our surprise, we were informed that there were one thousand Japanese onboard, ranging in age from 3 to 93 years old! The Iftar itself (the breaking of the fast) was even more interesting. Never in my life had I expected to break the fast with chopsticks! We were able to experience several Japanese dishes, including seaweed!
 

Everything about the whole exchange exceeded our expectations. Every minute of our five-hour trip was planned so carefully. Since we Omanis are known for our inability to be punctual, it was charming to see how particular our Japanese friends were about following the exact timetable they had put together for us, weeks before. Truly, it was a wonderful experience, and I'm sure several of my fellow Omani delegates are eager to visit Japan in the very near future. I know I am!

Ramadhan & Food

Published August 17, 2010

There are very few things in my life that I consider to be a living nightmare. Among them are 8-hour transits at Dubai airport, running out of cooking gas just before your guests arrive, and inching through traffic on payday. However, at the very top of my nightmare list is going to any supermarket in Salalah the week before Ramadhan.

Before I start my spiel about supermarkets and food, I'd like to highlight the fact that, in addition to focusing on religion, one of the main purposes of fasting is to teach Muslims about patience, humility, and empathy for those who are less fortunate. We are supposed to 'feel' hunger and count our blessings, thus becoming more charitable and willing to give to the poor.
 

Many Omanis on the other hand seem to be doing the complete opposite. Yes, we survive without food or water from sunrise to sunset, but then too much emphasis is placed on the preparation and consumption of the food with which we break the fast. In fact, most of my acquaintances end up gaining weight in Ramadhan despite the fact that they fast for most of the day!
 

I needed to pick up a couple of urgent food items at one of Salalah's major supermarkets a couple of days before Ramadhan started last week. It was just after three o'clock in the afternoon and I thought I'd be able to run in quickly before the Ramadhan shoppers arrived. No such luck! It took me twenty minutes to find a parking space and then I had to fight my way in through a sea of frantic shoppers at the entrance only to find there were no shopping carts or baskets left. The huge Ramadhan displays at the front of the supermarket would baffle any person unfamiliar with our Ramadhan cuisine. All you see are pyramids of tins of Captain Oats, creme caramel mixes, dumpling mixes, and of course the largest collection of Vimto bottles this person has ever seen.

Everywhere I looked, people were crammed together in the impenetrable aisles with their enormous shopping carts overflowing with the exact same items for their predictable Ramadhan menus. I started feeling slightly claustrophobic. By the time I made it to the front of the store with my sad little collection of items and took one look at the cashier lineups, I had had enough. I dumped my items on the nearest mountain of creme caramel and left. I haven't been into a supermarket since and have been avoiding them at all costs.
 

Why the obsession with food, you may wonder? Most families in Dhofar send their women into the kitchen four or five hours before sunset to start preparing for Iftar, the sunset meal. I'm inclined to say that 90% of households in Dhofar serve the exact same dishes every day for the entire month of Ramadan. The basics are sweet dumplings (luqaymat), greasy samoosas, oat soup, thareed (local dry bread soaked in a meat sauce), Arabic coffee, dates, jugs of Vimto, creme caramel, jello, watermelon, and anything deep-fried. All this food is laid out on a long plastic mat across the family living room or majlis and when the call to prayer is heard, everyone dives into the display of fifteen or more dishes. They spend the next hour or so eating non-stop, only taking a few minutes out to pray the sunset prayer. Imagine what mixing samoosas, spicy soup, meat, sweets, coffee, and watermelon every day can do to your stomach.
 

By the time everyone is finished eating, they've only consumed half of what was on display. What happens to the rest of the food? Many people keep leftovers for the sunrise meal, known as suhoor; however, most of it gets thrown out (to the benefit of stray neighborhood cats). It's a complete waste and completely defies the purpose of fasting. I read a report somewhere saying Arabs spend more money on food during Ramadhan than at any other time of the year. If that's true, then there's something very wrong with our understanding of Ramadhan. Perhaps as people in Oman become more health-conscious (and money conscious), these terrible eating habits will slowly be replaced by more sensible Ramadhan menus.

Salalah Tourism Festival 2010

Published August 3, 2010

Back in 1996, the first monsoon festival initiative started out as a group of tents and a small wooden makeshift stage at the base of the majestic green mountains of Dhofar. They named it 'Festival of Dhofar Municipality's Friends'. Fourteen years and a few million visitors later, the festival (now called 'Salalah Tourism Festival') covers several acres of land and has become the second largest attraction in Dhofar during July and August, after the incredible weather.

I'm not much of a festival person and I usually try to avoid crowded places at all costs, but I admit to faithfully visiting the festival at least once or twice every year since it began. It's pretty hard to avoid, given that it's where all the action is! Any family with children is bound to go at least five times during the festival's six weeks. The grounds are very child-friendly with a decent sized amusement park, good games, activities, contests, and even their own little children's stage.
 

One of the huge festival highlights (for me, anyway) is the Heritage Village. I always end up buying handicrafts and frankincense from the local artisans. Also, I never get tired of watching the traditional dances from every corner of Oman. If you arrive at the right time, you may stumble upon a poetry gathering in one of the Bedouin tents or even be given the opportunity to ride a camel. I've always been tempted to get on a camel, but given the rides' awkward location right in the center of the festival grounds I don't think I'll ever be brave enough. (Furthermore, abayas aren't very camel-friendly!) Those small details aside, there's always something interesting going on in the Heritage Village and it's a great place to take tourists or friends from abroad.
 

Another highlight for tourists and locals alike is the annual book fair. Ten years ago the selection of books was nothing to be proud of, with too many books on Arab politics, cooking, and romance novels with eyebrow raising covers. However, nowadays you can find everything from high quality reference books to translations of great world literature. A couple of years ago, I was even able to pick up both English and Arabic copies of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's 'One Hundred Years of Solitude'.
 

The photography and art exhibitions are always worth a visit. In fact, it's probably the only opportunity to really appreciate the considerable talents of our local photographers and artists. Furthermore, the festival's concert series have been a major attraction over the years, with artists from every corner of the Arab world coming to perform here in Salalah, to only what can be described as overly emotional and enthusiastic crowds. We've had some pretty big names come to our town, including Kazem El Saher, Mohammed Abdo, and Nancy Ajram.
 

A huge highlight for the female population of Dhofar is the shopping pavilion with hundreds of stalls hosting vendors from the subcontinent and Far East. A lot of the things being sold are cheap Chinese products and suspicious cosmetics. Also, I always tend to get accosted by overly made-up Arab women claiming that their products will make me whiter, thinner, or more fertile. Despite being put off by this, I must admit, I always end up leaving with a treasure or two, be it exotic Yemeni spices, beautifully carved Pakistani furniture, hand painted Palestinian ceramics or fake designer bags from China!
 

In addition to numerous additional exhibitions, some of the other festival highlights include various sports activities, a wide selection of outdoor restaurants, daily fireworks and lots more. It's pretty safe and I haven't heard of any accidents involving kids falling off roller coasters or horrible cases of food poisoning for some years. We've also progressed from embarrassing freak shows involving half-animal, half human creatures to more civilized forms of entertainment. All in all, I salute the officials at the Dhofar Municipality for their achievements. The festival has come a long way and it's a great place to spend an afternoon or an evening. Every visitor is guaranteed to find something of interest!

Forever White

Published July 20, 2010

If you’ve ever been to Salalah you may have noticed an unusual number of stores claiming to sell ‘women’s necessities’. If you’ve actually been into one of these shops, you will observe that at least one large section of the shop is dedicated to whitening products, and another even larger section to an extraordinary selection of makeup. The complexion of the female cashier ringing up your items at the front of the store is a pale greyish white. It seems a little odd to you. As she fumbles to give you the right change, you notice that her hands are the colour of coffee beans. You look up again at her face and try not to gasp. Surprised? Don’t be. She is only one among thousands of female victims in Salalah who were brainwashed into thinking at an early age that in order to be considered beautiful, you must be white.

It’s no secret that Dhofari women are obsessed with being white. In fact, we seem to be quite famous for it! There are several women in Salalah who are well-known for their secret whitening ‘mixes’. They mix three or four whitening products with bleach and sell them for a high price in glass jars, catering mostly to young women and especially to brides-to-be. I’ve known girls who removed several layers of skin from their faces (using one of the mixes) in a feeble attempt to look white. Despite the fact that they end up looking like burn victims, many of them are satisfied. They seem to think it will make them more presentable ... more worthy (of what?). It’s very sad.
 

Our weddings are even worse. Somehow, over the past twenty years or so, Dhofari women have developed strict wedding makeup standards that no woman, in my opinion, should ever feel the need to comply with. Women spend months trying to book a makeup artist for any wedding they plan to attend, even if they are only distantly related to the family of the bride. In order to hide the natural colour of the girl’s skin, the female makeup artist applies several layers of unnaturally white makeup to the face, neck, back, chest, and any other visible part of skin (sometimes even legs!).

She then pulls out a pallet with an unidentifiable white substance on it that has the consistency of Vaseline and uses a paintbrush to apply it to the eyebrows, covering them completely in order to draw fake stick eyebrows an inch above their natural place. She then spends at least a couple of hours working on the eye makeup and lips. The girl ends up leaving the makeup artist’s house or salon several hours later (and fifty to a hundred rials poorer) looking like something between a geisha and a Goth. The look is bizarre. And then they proceed to the wedding, where they join hundreds of other unrecognizable women who are all equally plastered in white.
 

And if you thought that getting Dhofari makeup on was a struggle, wait until you hear how it is removed! My friends and relatives claim that dish detergent and a spoon for scraping is the only successful method. After an hour of scrubbing, scraping, and washing, the expected result is a sore but clean face.
 

I was at a wedding recently where the woman sitting next to me looked at my simple makeup with sad eyes and said ‘You are lucky to have enough confidence to come here looking like that.’ Looking like what? Myself? What is so shameful about that? I wanted to scream at all the women around me and tell them they are stunningly beautiful as they are.
 

Despite being educated and aware of all the health warnings, they continue to think white is more beautiful. All the shops continue to stock up on whitening products to support this local obsession. High school girls think that by smearing poison on their faces that they will live a happier life. I understand that this problem happens in many places in the world, but I tend to believe that it’s more visible in Dhofar. Most females here are unable to see that their dark-skinned beauty is something to be proud of! How beautiful we are, in all our shades and hues taken from the very earth we walk upon. Time to wake up and see beyond colour!

It's here!

Published July 06, 2010
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On the 21st of June of every year, Omanis and expats alike pour over local newspapers in search of one simple headline announcing to the public that the Khareef (the monsoon season) in Dhofar has officially started. It doesn’t mean that rain will magically fall on the morning of the 21st, though, even though the older generation expect it to. Thanks to cell phones, the social grapevine and Facebook, for that matter), all of us locals know, literally within hours, when the first monsoon cloud appears, and rejoice accordingly, but for some reason the little headline makes everyone even happier, simply because it’s official. This year, the rain and fog arrived early, but even so the newspaper announcement provided some sort of reassurance. It also meant our fellow-citizens in the sweltering northern parts of Oman could start packing and move down here for the summer to enjoy the cooler temperatures in Dhofar.
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The start of a rainy season can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people but to Dhofaris it can only mean one thing: the three-month party has begun! Not only is it wedding season, but the monsoon also means that around a quarter of a million (I kid you not) tourists from northern Oman, the GCC and other countries visit Salalah during July and August. Salalah goes into ‘party mode’ with concerts, plays, exhibitions, late-night barbecues in the mountains, and the famed Salalah Tourist Festival. However, the overall reason for the celebratory mood is the rain. If you’re visiting Salalah for the first time during the Khareef, you may have to rub your eyes and knock yourself on the head a couple of times while driving through the region. The heavy mist, gushing springs and brilliant green mountains may look like tropical East Asia or a South American rainforest…until you spot the first herd of camels grazing happily in a valley of wild flowers and butterflies. Sometimes it’s too good to be true, and it’s unbelievable to think that just a few kilometers away lie the rolling sand dunes of the Empty Quarter!
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However, every rose has its thorn, and the monsoon season comes with its own set of disadvantages. Humor me for a moment and try to imagine nearly a quarter of a million tourists landing on a town of perhaps190,000 people over a period of eight weeks. Not a pleasant thought, considering the fact that we have narrow roads and only one highway. During July and August I simply avoid going anywhere unnecessary, since the idea of inching through traffic for hours and trying to protect myself from crazy speeding UAE drivers in their brand new four wheel drives doesn’t appeal to me. Getting a table in a restaurant becomes impossible. Shopping for anything is a nightmare, unless you have the patience of Job and all the time in the world. Also, I dare not forget to mention the famous monsoon tiny flying insects (named ‘khanyoot’ by locals) that can eat you alive if you sit too close to trees or bushes anywhere near the mountains. The monsoon also means that everything from your car to your shoes is covered in a fine layer of mud, your laundry doesn’t dry, and unless you pack away your shoes and clothes, they go moldy. We also keep our AC’s on to dry out the air and stop the curtains and furniture from also going moldy.
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Despite all of that, the list of virtues is definitely longer, and Dhofar remains breath-taking and simply magical. If you’ve just about had it with the 50-degree weather in Muscat anytime between now and September, pack your bags. Come and spend the weekend, your holidays, or even the whole of Ramadhan in drizzly, foggy, deliriously happy Salalah. It will definitely be something to remember!

Premarital Screening, Anyone?

Published June 22, 2010
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As Oman observes World Sickle Cell Day this week for the first time (June 19th), and as wedding season starts with pomp and grandeur in Dhofar, I feel obliged to shed light on the issues of hereditary blood disorders and premarital testing. It is no secret that hereditary blood disorders are as common as your regular flu in Oman. The three main inherited disorders are Sickle Cell Disease (over 6% of Omanis carry it), Thalassemia (2% of the population), and finally, according to the Oman Hereditary Blood Disorders Association, 25% of Omani males and 10% of females are G6PD patients. Carriers of these three disorders tend to be more clustered up North but these disorders also exist in Dhofar due to intermarriage. And that isn't all! I won't go into the horrific local statistics on children with disabilities and birth defects.
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In Oman, where marriage between first cousins is the norm and where over 58% of the population carry hereditary blood disorders, it's simply logical that premarital screening should be mandatory. Yet despite the disturbing statistics, it still isn't! Many people I've spoken to around Salalah have never even heard of premarital screening or tend to falsely believe the tests are needed simply to determine whether one of the concerned parties is HIV positive or infertile. Naturally, they aren't keen on having such tests done for fear of public shame and embarrassment. Furthermore, a large percentage of Omanis aren't aware of the fact that disorders such as Sickle Cell Disease are hereditary. Little do they know!
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Pre-marital screening is a group of tests for couples who plan to get married. Though not advertised at all, to the best of my knowledge these tests can be done easily at any one of Oman's major hospitals. Many couples may both look and feel healthy, but are actually silent carriers of infectious or hereditary diseases. For couples considering marriage (especially when they are relatives!), pre-marital screening is imperative in identifying potential health problems and risks for themselves and their future children. Couples in a consanguineous marriage run the risk of having children with genetic birth defects such as Down’s syndrome and autism. This can be prevented! It is vital for these couples to be screened in order to help them to understand their genetic background and, if necessary, take precautions or needed treatment.
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However, many of you know as well as I do that getting young people to undergo pre-marital screening is going to be a hell of a struggle. In most cases, the couple haven't really spent time discussing marriage together since many marriages are arranged. Furthermore, testing is a sensitive topic. Many men are too proud and the tribal system doesn't really support the idea. In fact, many families think that it's taboo and tend to believe that marriage is made in heaven and no test is going to break up a marriage simply because both parties are Thalassemia carriers! Also, any couple who are madly in love and want to get married aren't going to appreciate it when a doctor informs them that there are blood issues involved and it would be wise to think again. However, as far as I'm concerned, and as far as children are concerned, love does not prevail in these cases. Nor does tribalism or pride!
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Our children need to be educated about these issues in school, and the health officials, we hope, will conduct vigorous campaigns encouraging citizens to undergo premarital screening and promote better health. In the end, it's worth it. It is of utmost importance that local media publications highlight these issues and urge Omanis and expats alike to take hereditary disorders more seriously. Premarital testing can prevent 60 percent of birth defects and nearly 100 percent of commonly inherited blood disorders like Thalassemia and sickle cell anaemia.
 

If you know someone with a blood disorder then you will agree with me that there's nothing worse than seeing a five year old child hospitalized, in pain and on morphine while trying to get through a sickle cell crisis. Whoever is in favor of making premarital tests mandatory in Oman raise your hand! Both mine are up!

And The Chaos Begins ...

Published June 8,  2010

Driving through the streets of Salalah during the month of June can be a nightmare. Traffic jams at all times of the day and night in addition to occasional foot cramps and strained ankles due to hours of inching up and down the town's main streets can only mean one thing. The sight may be rather alarming to any newcomer, but all us locals know exactly what this means: preparations for the wedding season have only just begun!
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The shopping scene is utter chaos. It's almost impossible to drive anywhere near the fabric shops, the tailors, the beauty salons, and the shops dominated by females. Quite often, you have to park several blocks away from your goal and make your way on foot through tightly parked lineups of cars. They are all, to a fault, inhabited by sulky husbands with one or more babies on their laps, waiting patiently (or not) for their wives and daughters to emerge from the shops, tripping along in their high heels, laden with wedding accessories.
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If you find room to force your way in to any of the many 'women's necessities' shops (each one an absolute no man's land), what you'll see may well scar you for life. A pushy crowd of inhabited black abayas crammed together like tinned olives in an attempt to get a look at the latest fake Swarovski crystal beads. Or perhaps a six person deep lineup of women at the hair extension counters fingering the latest honey blonde wigs (an ugly but very popular current trend in Dhofari wedding fashion). Dare I forget to mention the exhausted Asian shopkeepers rolling out interminable yards of cloth, while individually counting out the hundreds of tiny beads that will be sewn into elaborate decorations on the traditional velvet wedding dresses?
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Of course, the underlying purpose of all this fuss is that mothers must view prospective brides for their sons at the wedding parties, and their daughters must view each other and fight for the position of the most beautiful girl, or the most talented dancer. This wedding fiasco starts in May with people trying to set their wedding dates so they don't clash with other tribal weddings. The scheduling also depends on whether they can rent a 'wedding house' or either one of Salalah's two hotel ballrooms for the proposed date. Women fight for invitations, even to the weddings from outside their tribes. The topic of discussion at work and social gatherings revolves around 'How many weddings will you be attending this July and August?' The answer can range anywhere from five to ten or more, I kid you not! (And for the men, it's many more, sometimes up to ten a week, but that's another story!)
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Once the women have established which weddings they will attend, they go into something of a frenzy trying to book separate henna, hair, and makeup appointments for each one of those weddings. Let me tell you from experience, this is not an easy process. Try to imagine the permutations! We are talking about many thousands of women here, and it's not that big a town. The next step is figuring out what to wear. Obviously, for most women, it's too expensive to produce a new dress for each wedding; however, it's also unthinkable in Dhofar to even consider wearing the same dress to two weddings. The women therefore must go to great lengths to find fashionable dresses to wear, either by adjusting old dresses, tailoring new ones, borrowing from relatives, or heading to any one of Salalah's numerous dress-rental shops. It's such big business now, women even run businesses from their homes, exchanging exotic dresses for a fee.
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Preparing for wedding season in Dhofar is an exhausting and stressful process for all the women involved, from the bride, to both the families of the bride and the groom, as well as all the female wedding guests. Despite the fact that most women here deem such extraordinary preparations to be necessary, I pray that all this madness becomes a dying trend in the years to come. I look forward to the day when simplicity is introduced to Dhofari weddings and when men don't have to go into debt any more to financially support the demands of the female members of their families. However, in the meantime, the chaos continues …